Hopeless Geek

”Juicy” has been friendly since we met which is why we chose her.Here’s the big surprise that I finally got around to posting. Our new kitten! I think she still is because she’s under one and most cats don’t attain full adulthood until two; I remember Nemo continuing to get larger until he leveled off in early 2004. 
 
Right now “Juicy” is living in Somara’s office assimilating to our house. Meanwhile the other three cats are bracing themselves for another “presence.” We did take a chance introducing Nemo first because he would like someone younger to play with. No dice, he hissed and sulked off. Currently, he’s still pouting over the loss of “baby” status. Then Miette received a turn. She’s still aloof about “Juicy.” I knew she would react that way. Molly is the one we have to be the most cautious with. However, if the Alpha grew accustomed to Nemo and Miette in a week, the little black kitty someone abandoned at the Williamson County Animal Shelter will fit in. 
 
I’ll be posting further adventures of our new kitty in due time, especially the little movie I hope to tweak together in iMovie along with a photo gallery via iWeb. 
 
In the meantime, Somara and I are having a contest to rename our new cat. “Juicy” is her shelter name. Personally, I think it’s lame. After we finished the paperwork, I threw out several great names but Somara shot them down. Putting out a request from our friends, namely their children, was a better compromise. I’ll gladly field questions from children if they request assistance about “Juicy’s” behavior, tastes and etc. You’re free to post the names in the Comments or you can e-mail me. 
 
Good luck and I think we’ll be accepting suggestions until May 12. I’m willing to go longer but “Juicy” is technically Somara’s cat so it depends upon her. 

The Brewers started the game with only 8 players, and quickly fell significantly behind. After a 9th player arrived, the team quickly rallied back and tied the game in the top of the last inning, and Lionel Maldonado shut the opponent down in the bottom half to secure the tie after tripling in two runs and scoring later on the play.

I’m finally off the schnied, going 1-4 with an R and an RBI.

I administer a vBulletin site for my dad. I’ve never been truly happy with vBulletin, as they make administration a royal pain; downloads, updates, and security bulletins/updates are withheld and only available within a very restricted member site, and the update process – even for software updates – is not patchable, and generally requires replacing large sections of your install manually. I fell behind on updates, largely because of the pain of both acquiring and installing these updates. To boot, we’ve apparently lost the login credentials for their website and my dad’s original email address is no longer functional because that ISP has moved out of town.

Tonight, we were hacked through a security hole in the vBulletin software, and Jelsoft has been entirely useless.

Without access to their member site, they refused to acknowledge our trouble ticket. When prodded to reset our password (which, unbelievably, requires manual intervention), they launched into a series of emails demanding a litany of verifications that we were “legitimate license holders,” despite the fact that we were emailing from one of the approved email addresses on the account (mine) and had the appropriate customer number and license number.

This exposes critical weaknesses in Jelsoft’s business model that makes them completely and utterly unsuited to winning your business.

Access to security updates are unnecessarily restricted. Security updates should always, always, always be made as freely available as possible to reduce every possible barrier to installation. Any and every barrier to acquisition of critical patches reduces the likelihood that the patches will be installed, and increase the likelihood that your customers will fall victim to malfeasance. Exposing your customers like this is completely and utterly unacceptable, and Jelsoft not only makes it difficult, they make it potentially impossible – as is the case for us.

Also, their customer support personnel are completely useless if you don’t meet their absurd authentication requirements. If the software was purchased by another individual in your organization, and they’re not available, you’re hosed. They not only won’t help you, they won’t even talk to you. This makes Jelsoft an unacceptable company to do business with, as a business; if the purchaser leaves your company, or is on vacation, and difficulties arise, you are without recourse.

I politely pointed out that our license expires in 1 week, and that immediate attention to this matter was required to save us as a customer. Their immediate response?

Hello,
As you are not the license holder, the legal license holder needs to contact us directly and not as a response to this ticket/email.
Kind regards
Kerry-Anne Peters
vBulletin Support

I’ll point out that, in their system, my name and email address are also tied to this license; they “know” me.

I understand the need to reduce piracy, but this is absurd. Our site is hacked, the “legal purchaser” is not immediately available (it’s 1AM), the admin (me!) is, their customer service rep is, and they refuse to move forward.

I’ll be installing phpBB.

“What took so long?” was my first reaction to this movie, especially when I stumbled upon the trailer last month; I don’t have cable/satellite which is why I didn’t know earlier. One would also think that two of the biggest stars in martial arts deserve a true Summer release date. Better late than never though since Jackie is in his fifties and probably retiring soon. 
 
Jason [Angarano] is a White kid from South Boston obsessed with martial arts movies, namely the kitschy ones that used to be on Saturday afternoon TV in larger cities. Through Old Hop [Chan], the elderly man who runs a pawn shop in Chinatown, Jason has a place to feed his hobby: DVDs, cultural paraphernalia, etc. Too bad he's only a fan, not a practitioner of kung fu as an encounter with a local bully demonstrates. Then comes a really stretched, cliche circumstance to transport the protagonist to a mythical period of Chinese history. There he must fulfill a quest to free the Monkey King [Li] with the assistance of three heroic archetypes: the drunken master [Chan again], the "failed" monk [Li again] and an avenging orphan [Liu]. Opposing them are the evil archetypes: the Jade Warlord, his Jade army and his right hand, a ruthless, flying white-haired witch. 
 
As the heroic quartet travels across the Middle Kingdom [Earth] to confront the Jade Warlord, Jason has time to learn kung fu from the two masters in a really predictable montage; I couldn't help but imagine the South Park song "Montage" in my mind. And just like all traveling buddy pictures, there's bickering, taunting and eventual bonding to explain why all four would risk their lives for each other. 
 
It's not Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which is probably why most professional movie critics panned or disliked this. Kingdom is trying to be a tribute to those Saturday-afternoon chop socky movies. It just has a larger budget [can't see the wires!], an American set of bookends to the story and toned-down violence to get the PG-13 rating [really PG-level stuff]. I only agree with the naysayers that Li and Chan probably deserve a better starring vehicle than some tweener-friendly matinee directed by the guy [Minkoff] who did The Haunted Mansion and Stuart Little. In the director's defense, Li and Chan's charisma, chemistry and choreography overcome the petty criticism…no, my display isn't covered in spit from that alliteration. I would change the excessive exposition Chan gives to the hero by shortening it or breaking it into smaller pieces throughout the film. The way it was presented didn't work and it practically brought the story to a screeching halt: narrating isn't one of Jackie's strengths and became a long, drawn-out Toklienesque synopsis written by an inexperienced, boring DungeonMaster. 
 
Worth Seeing? Yes. Even the most casual fan of action movies will be amused since it caters more toward those who enjoyed Rush Hour or Shanghai Knights. The diehards who prefer Drunken Master, Iron Monkey and Enter the Dragon may nitpick but they will probably be distracted at all the references sprinkled throughout it. With ticket prices going up again this Summer, I would put this in the Matinee or Budget Theater classification if you can't wait for it to be on DVD this Fall. 

This picture of me was drawn by a little lady who I get to see on Sundays at Einstein Brothers; my new Sunday-morning ritual with my former regulars at Kenny's. I think it's pretty accurate, especially on how much I've let my beard go unkempt. Things have been a tad crazy-busy so I will be trimming it soon. Maybe a haircut too. 
 
1010 

Maybe I'm losing my mind since this graphic made me laugh heartily for almost five minutes. Somara on the other hand wanted an explanation of the "joke." What else is there to explain? I guess my wife doesn't "hear" the voices I do when I first saw it; some dry, sarcastic person saying "nice." Or was it a Pauly Shore type saying this because you can see the shark and gorilla must've been successful at defeating the terrorists! 
 
Even so, what's there to explain? It's the absurdity of the picture which makes is funny. Salvador Dali would've loved it. I'm not sure about Dadaists. 
 
Anyway, when I wear this shirt, I watch the initial reaction from the person I show it to. It's my informal, unscientific way of gauging someone's sense of humor or comedy. 

Today is Superman’s 70th birthday. With his first appearance in Action Comics #1, comic books have been associated with superheroes ever since thanks to the success of this iconic character. What timing too. This week we got the chance to rent the Richard Donner version of my favorite of the five Superman movies, I’ve only seen three so I only have a bad opinion of Superman III. 
 
The first Superman’s opening scene was always puzzling. What did General Zod, Ursa and Non being sentenced to the Phantom Zone have to do with the rest of the movie? Namely Superman’s origins. Only those familiar with past Salkind-produced movies knew; it was cheaper to shoot two films while they had all the sets and actors in place; they did this before with their two Musketeers flicks in the mid Seventies. Besides, anything related to Science Fiction was a sure thing after Star Wars in 1977. Having the sequel made simultaneous could keep up the momentum by releasing it shortly after the original. How long the gap would be, I don’t know but I’m sure it wasn’t as long as it turned out to be. Seems easy nowadays after Peter Jackson pulled it off with in his Rings trilogy. Then again, Jackson practically had all the resources of New Zealand at his disposal. Richard Donner didn’t fare so well. As everyone knows, Donner was rushed into completing film one for the Christmas 1978 release date was in stone. Then the Salkinds fired him after over various differences regarding the second. Richard Lester, who did the Musketeers franchise, was brought in to finish it. According to Donner, he completed shooting 80 percent of Superman II and Lester used most of it; the movie is half of each director by Donner’s estimates. The end result was II being okay until the end which I always thought was lame. 
 
This all changed in 2006 with Warner Brothers finally issuing Donner’s version because people had been asking him for years, “What would you have done differently?” The studio owed him too. Donner has directed all four Lethal Weapon movies which have made a fortune. This director’s cut is a solid reconstruction without relying on digital effects to “enhance” what was impressive for its day. The plot remains the same, General Zod, Ursa and Non escape from the Phantom Zone, conquer the Earth while Superman is distracted by his relationship with Lois Lane, and then the big fight over New York until the evil trio are defeated. 
 
It’s Donner’s execution which I preferred. First, there’s a quick recap of Superman with the Phantom Zone’s prisoners being more involved: they saw Krypton explode, they saw Kal-El’s ship and they drifted toward our solar system over the years. How they escape is tied in with the previous movie, not Lester’s Eiffel Tower terrorists jazz. Second, Marlon Brando returns as the essence of Jor-El, advising Supes through the Fortress of Solitude’s computer. This was a much better and more plausible solution for Superman regaining his powers so he could fight the evil trio. Meanwhile, Zod and the gang are even more destructive in their conquest and fight against Superman. Finally, Donner’s ending is better by retaining the spirit of his predecessor, not Lester’s puzzling solution which makes Lois forget Clark, Kal-El and Superman are the same guy. 
 
It’s not completely flawless. One scene Donner insisted on inserting was only done as a screen test so it has a rather jarring continuity problem. Even the casual viewer will find it jarring. However, Donner’s instincts were right. The interaction between Clark and Lois is too important to let the glitch ruin it. There are noticeable differences in sound quality too making the restored/reconstructed elements stick out easily. 
 
Donner’s stronger execution clobbers its shortcomings easily. I think for most who don’t have memories like a steel trap would be better served by watching the first Superman then following it up with this. Then it’s a less puzzling experience or maybe most people don’t care so much about the details. 
 
Of all the Superman movies to choose from to celebrate the Man of Steel’s big Seven Oh, this is my pick. The first is great too, it just dwells on his origin longer than I’d care for because his early career isn’t as compelling as Batman’s which was finally captured successfully in Batman Begins. 

The picture is a prank celebrating my ongoing war with Cholesterol. I'd say I'm winning so far. Even the doctor was curious as to how I did it in 3-4 weeks. When I told him no more beef but grilled chicken with mustard at Whataburger for a start [as the nurse told me], he laughed. Then he figured I'm still young enough to have fluctuations. However, I'm less likely to have a heart attack. 
 
Anyway, the Cholesterol was a fraction of the bigger picture known as my first physical in 22 years. Huh? Yes, I know, I know. I'm not afraid of going to the doctor. Procrastination has been the biggest problem due to the years of being underinsured in the sooooo prosperous Nineties and then not finding someone in The Plan when I did get an adequate job. No matter, my luck held out on everything else. Blood is good. Other fluids passed. I'm in decent shape for someone about to turn 40 this Summer. I could lose some weight yet the doctor didn't really emphasize it much. Somara and I also have to take turns monitoring each other's snoring; check for pauses of a certain length. 
 
My overall health report was positive and better than expected. I felt like the kid with the awesome report card in the Sylvan Learning Center commercials. 
 
Oh, the restaurant the Spartans and Persians are attacking is a Whataburger, a predominantly Texas burger chain. You may have seen it on King of the Hill. Good but unhealthy food. 

This is an older shirt I've had for several years but I wanted to get it into the gallery before it's "retired." It's a funny marriage of two Pop Culture icons. My only regret is that Metallica's music hasn't been very interesting after they released the really dull Load. A band's evolution is a different discussion though. I like this cartoon more since it's funny to see SpongeBob rockin' out, doing the the standard Metal salute you'd see on MTV back in the Eighties and Metallica is performing on a giant shell. It would've been cooler if the other characters, namely Sandy and Squidward, were incorporated on this. 
 
I mentioned the shirt's "retirement." Yeah, I've had it long enough that I feel it's time to pass it on to a new home, namely someone who really likes both the band and cartoon. If you [the reader] want it, I'll go with the first non-spam comment I see by May 1st, otherwise it goes to the first candidate I had in mind originally. 

Movie number two from Somara’s recovery marathon!  
 
We saw a trailer for this one once, agreed that we wanted to see it, especially after catching a story about her on The History Channel [or was it E!?]. I remember us sitting through the end of it, predicting the narrator reporting her death. How wrong we were. The producers ended the special with a rare interview of the elusive pin-up but in silhouette at her insistence. She didn’t want to disappoint fans with reality. Meanwhile, I never recalled this movie being released to any Austin theaters despite the buzz at SXSW 2006. Could’ve been a straight-to-cable thing such as Reefer Madness: The Musical. 
 
The film begins with an undercover sting operation at an adult bookstore which is hilarious by today’s standards [if you ever come to Texas, these places impossible to avoid seeing along I-35]. Still, the point of it was to establish the era’s mood: Senator Kefauver [Strathairn, always great] is on his tear against “dangerous” materials such as dirty pictures, horror comics and anything else that could be blamed on the anti-social behavior sweeping teenagers in the Fifties. Not to spoil the plot, the bust and Congressional hearings act as foreshadowing on how the story ends—if you’re not familiar with Bettie’s life. 
 
Then time rewinds to rural Tennessee in the Thirties. Even as a pre-teen, Bettie is shown as a rather popular, attractive girl. It upsets her socially conservative, super religious parents. There are other details covering her background [first marriage, college, etc.] I’ll skip. My goal is to review, not retell the whole story. How much of it is true can only be verified by Mrs. Page or an official biographer. Other events in Bettie’s life are truncated to get right to the key period everyone knows, her “sordid” career from the early to mid Fifties in New York and Florida. 
 
Much like thousands of young people after WWII, Bettie leaves for NYC to pursue acting and modeling. It’s not a far-fetched idea since she studied it in college and had past experience. The going is tough but she’s an optimistic, upbeat person. One day while walking through a park, she meets a policeman who’s also a photographer. They strike up a conversation and this eventually leads to her pin-up career with Irving Klaw and Bunny Yeager. You learn that she’s also naive, if the movie is to be believed. To clarify, Bettie isn’t naive to the point of stupid because no harm comes to her; the handlers make sure of this. She’s naive about the pictures’ purpose, context and enemies. To her, many of these peculiar photo shoots were just the equivalent to today’s cos-play or acting exercises she studies on the side. As for the nudity? Bettie doesn’t see the harm in it. These are pictures, not instructions, and her rationalization is usually derived from her interpretation of the Bible: Adam and Eve were “naked” too. 
 
When Bettie is called before Kefauver’s hearing, she has a change of heart [or epiphany] yet she never was called to testify. The movie takes a stab on the “why.” Only Mrs. Page can truly answer this. Whatever her reason was, everyone knows that she quit everything related to modeling, acting, etc., and became a more devout Christian, proselytizing to anyone willing to listen. What really followed after the credits was obscurity and mystery until the Eighties. 
 
The people involved in making Bettie did a solid job presenting this as a serious, amusing tale about the notorious period of her life. It can’t help but be an R-rated movie due to the subject matter yet it doesn’t sink to arbitrarily showing Bettie [Gretchen Mol] naked unless it’s crucial to the story. The use of black-and-white supports my point against the nudity being thrown in to attract an audience a la Showgirls. It serves the bigger purpose of setting the tone of the Fifties, as Americans seem to collectively remember them; how ideal it was when there were no “gray” moral areas. When Bettie visits Florida, it shifts to color to amplify the sunny nature of the place. Maybe it emphasizes the protagonist’s fondness for Miami. 
 
Her religious nature isn’t ridiculed into something cartoonish neither. It was a part of her character which is why her “conversion” seemed genuine. I use quotes because I don’t think Bettie ever quit being a Christian. She chose to embrace her faith on a more involved level and rebuilt her new career around it. She wasn’t painted into a moral corner like most reborn “Christians” who use the process to absolve past misdeeds; see Charles Colson and Gary Busey. 
 
I used to dismiss the Bettie Page revival in the Eighties because I didn’t get it. Being a comic-book fan, it could be embarrassing showing non-geek friends your favorite shop and there’d be one of those well-done Dave Stevens posters. “Oh, you’re socially adjusted. Uh huh,” is going through their minds, especially the female chums. Anyway, I figured she was another unattainable, lame ideal woman from the past like the overrated Marilyn Monroe. After reading an article about her [I think it was Buck Henry] and seeing the TV special I mentioned earlier, I think I understood the interest [or obsession]. Bettie Page represents the standard of beauty, erotic or not, before the West became obsessed with thin blondes under 25 needing airbrushed assistance. 

Tommy Cable went 3-5 and James Gonzalez went 3-4 in the losing cause.